How old are you, anyway?
Um, my age, I’m gonna leave, like, free for everybody to think about. I’m gonna leave it a secret, so when I get old, nobody will know.
Did you always plan on being a supermodel?
When I started, I was too young to know what I wanted. But today I would like to be a doctor. I want to be a pediatry…how do you call it, pediatrician?
Yeah. Pediatrician. So you like kids?
Not really. Depends. If they act well behaved, yes. When they start screaming, I don’t like them. But this is my plan. I might change my mind. For now, God has given me a lot of work.
I take it you’re religious?
Yes! I am Catholic. [she pulls out the cardboard scapular hanging around her neck, under her big gray sweater]
Wow. A scapular. Do you go to church?
Of course! Every Sunday.
Is there anything in the teachings of the Catholic Church that you don’t agree with?
No.
Are you pro-life?
What do you mean, pro-life?
How do you feel about abortion?
I think it’s a crime.
Okay, so let’s get started. You know the theme of this issue, right? Love, Sex, and
Madness—
Uh-huh. Yes. God.
Which category do you want to talk about first?
Love.
I figured. Okay. Have you been in love a lot?
I’m in love now.
Were you ever before?
No! I believe love just happens once. You can be mistaken, you can think you are in love, but after a while you discover that you’re really not. Real love is different.
Are you a one-guy woman?
Of course! I’m a Catholic.
Look, I’m Catholic, too, but there’s a lot of things about the church that make it hard to date within its rules, don’t you think?
Like what?
Birth control, premarital sex…
Well, you know, sex is just for after marriage.
Say what?
Sex is for after marriage.
Are you saying you’re not going to have sex before marriage?
Exactly.
You mean you’ve never had sex?
That’s why I have to say.
You sure about this?
Yes.
How do men respond to the fact that you plan to, you know, wait?
I don’t care. They have to respect that this is my choice. If there’s no respect, that means they don’t want me.
Who was your first boyfriend?
I have just three boyfriends in my life.
Get out.
And this is the third one now.
Did you ever have your heart broken?
By my two exes, yes.
They dumped you?
Noooo. They did not dump me. But… It just did not worked. It did not work. You know?
Were you depressed?
No, not depressed. I don’t have depression.
You didn’t crawl into bed for a week and cry your eyes out?
Well, I felt sad, you know, but what am I gonna do? What’s crying and crawling and locking myself in gonna do for me? Nothing.
So except for the man you’re so in love with, who is your idea of a really hot guy?
My man.
Besides him.
I can’t look at another guy! I can’t. I swear. I’m blocked. I cannot look.
But how do guys—when you’re out and you’re at a club or a restaurant or an event, how do guys approach—
Don’t approach me.
They don’t approach you?
No, I say: Do not.
I know you don’t sleep with anyone, but just for the sake of argument: Who would you rather sleep with, Bush or Clinton?
Ohmigod. They’re too old for me!
Any other thoughts about sex?
I’m not very experienced, okay?
I guess we don’t have much to talk about, sexwise?
I don’t think so.
So…any beauty tips?
I don’t work out.
And is all of you natural?
No, it’s all fake. From my hair to my toes to my nails. Everything’s fake. Everything! Even my heart is fake.
Okay, got it. But if you could improve one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Patience. I’m very impatient. I like everything now. I want it all now.
Except sex.
I’m talking about work.
Of course.
No more details!
Um, my age, I’m gonna leave, like, free for everybody to think about. I’m gonna leave it a secret, so when I get old, nobody will know.
Did you always plan on being a supermodel?
When I started, I was too young to know what I wanted. But today I would like to be a doctor. I want to be a pediatry…how do you call it, pediatrician?
Yeah. Pediatrician. So you like kids?
Not really. Depends. If they act well behaved, yes. When they start screaming, I don’t like them. But this is my plan. I might change my mind. For now, God has given me a lot of work.
I take it you’re religious?
Yes! I am Catholic. [she pulls out the cardboard scapular hanging around her neck, under her big gray sweater]
Wow. A scapular. Do you go to church?
Of course! Every Sunday.
Is there anything in the teachings of the Catholic Church that you don’t agree with?
No.
Are you pro-life?
What do you mean, pro-life?
How do you feel about abortion?
I think it’s a crime.
Okay, so let’s get started. You know the theme of this issue, right? Love, Sex, and
Madness—
Uh-huh. Yes. God.
Which category do you want to talk about first?
Love.
I figured. Okay. Have you been in love a lot?
I’m in love now.
Were you ever before?
No! I believe love just happens once. You can be mistaken, you can think you are in love, but after a while you discover that you’re really not. Real love is different.
Are you a one-guy woman?
Of course! I’m a Catholic.
Look, I’m Catholic, too, but there’s a lot of things about the church that make it hard to date within its rules, don’t you think?
Like what?
Birth control, premarital sex…
Well, you know, sex is just for after marriage.
Say what?
Sex is for after marriage.
Are you saying you’re not going to have sex before marriage?
Exactly.
You mean you’ve never had sex?
That’s why I have to say.
You sure about this?
Yes.
How do men respond to the fact that you plan to, you know, wait?
I don’t care. They have to respect that this is my choice. If there’s no respect, that means they don’t want me.
Who was your first boyfriend?
I have just three boyfriends in my life.
Get out.
And this is the third one now.
Did you ever have your heart broken?
By my two exes, yes.
They dumped you?
Noooo. They did not dump me. But… It just did not worked. It did not work. You know?
Were you depressed?
No, not depressed. I don’t have depression.
You didn’t crawl into bed for a week and cry your eyes out?
Well, I felt sad, you know, but what am I gonna do? What’s crying and crawling and locking myself in gonna do for me? Nothing.
So except for the man you’re so in love with, who is your idea of a really hot guy?
My man.
Besides him.
I can’t look at another guy! I can’t. I swear. I’m blocked. I cannot look.
But how do guys—when you’re out and you’re at a club or a restaurant or an event, how do guys approach—
Don’t approach me.
They don’t approach you?
No, I say: Do not.
I know you don’t sleep with anyone, but just for the sake of argument: Who would you rather sleep with, Bush or Clinton?
Ohmigod. They’re too old for me!
Any other thoughts about sex?
I’m not very experienced, okay?
I guess we don’t have much to talk about, sexwise?
I don’t think so.
So…any beauty tips?
I don’t work out.
And is all of you natural?
No, it’s all fake. From my hair to my toes to my nails. Everything’s fake. Everything! Even my heart is fake.
Okay, got it. But if you could improve one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Patience. I’m very impatient. I like everything now. I want it all now.
Except sex.
I’m talking about work.
Of course.
No more details!
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